kekecawaan

ahad, 11 march 2012...

aku pon tak tao sbnarnye nk tulis ape...

aku cume nk kongsi kesediyhan, kesayuan, dlm haty nii..

aku ta taoo lagi macam mane nk luah kn dah...

napa aku sorg je yg rindu kan kau..

nape aku sorg je yg teringin nk jumpe kau...

aku tak paham laa...

aku sediyhh...

sayang aku di buang,

cinta aku di tolak,

kasih aku di hina..

apee lagy yg tggl kat akuu nii...

2012

well..

this new year ni.. mcm mcm bende yg baru aku tempuh...

tersgt laa byk..

hahhaaa.. aku dpt keje baru..

bina life baru (insyallah ke arah kebaikan.)

dapat kawan kawan baru. .

kenal erti sebenar sahabat . .

hahahaa...

kelakar kn..

macam budak budak yg baru masok sekolah . .

cume beza nye...

time kecik aku ta penah kesah kelas mane aku masok. .

kawan macam mane aku nk kawan. .

haih (-_-)''

tp bile dah besa. . makin dewasa umur ni. .

aku dah tempuh macam macam ragam manusia. .

ragam kerjaya. .

ragam kehidupan . .

mane nak sama dengan masa lalu. .

hahahaaa....

walaupun byk benda baru yg aku tempuh. .

tak semua nye benda yang myeronokan aku. .

kebanyakan nye sediyh. .

ta sangka durian jadi nangka...

hahaa. . betul ke tuh ?

lantak laa... hahaa

i juz wanna say..

hi 2012. . ILY . . :D

sangkar ...

jadi lagi..... hmmm..

berterusan...

tp pujuk laa.... haishh

kau dah besa la ain. wake up.

jgn nk perasan.

tp hati aku ttp perlukan belaian walau pon aku kasar.

tp aku ta nk jd lembik. aku nk jd kuwat.

jadi org yg leh trime je ape pun jua.

aku cube. lama... tp aku ttp lemah.. hanya dalam 1 saat?

lemah sesgt rupenye.

tlg la binakan sangkar besi untuk haty yg lembut ni .!

muhammad nur fadhli ramlan.

lagu niyh b bg by time kite skype fer the first time kan..

ngat ta?

hehehe :)

so, now, by tukar lagu dlm blog niyh..

supaye leyh laa by slalu teringat kn b..

:')

amin ~

The Day I Should Count :')

i dunt even care wut people say..

i dunt care wut people think..

i dunt even want to kno anythng..

except.. him...

should i count the day of ours?

should i?

i wan to.. but im afraid of.

tell me this is real..

tell me this is yr true needed.

tell me im yours...

is it true...?

is it....???

dunt play wit it dear....

it makes me die.

31 - 07 - 2011

"Salam.. Lao by masih bkak ym ni b na ckp satu perkara ngn by.. Yg b masih egt JANJI b.. Lao xde pe halangn insyAllah dlm 5 taon g b tunaikan kay syg.. B x lupa pon jnji b.. Hmm.. Sowie psl b egt bnde yg trok2 je pd b.. Bkn b na peli or ape cme b trase.. P btol gk lgu tu pon.. Hmmm.. "

Baru hari ni sy dpt on9...
dan sy bru je bukak ym..
urmm~~ :'(
thanx awk...
sy tao perangai sy mmg terok bile bersama awk..
maafkan sy...
tp nape awk ambik masa dlm 5 tahun?
lama nye... nta nta nty awk dah de ank cucu nta time tuh..
urmm~
lagu tuh sbb sy sediyh sgt...
sy tak nak awk dtg balik kt st sbgai s'org boyfie..
kalau awk btol nk sy.. masok je la minang...
sy tggu awk.. sy dah tak sggup nk jd awek awk..
nk kene mrh awk hari hari sbb tkt kehilangan awk..
tp sy nk awk kembali kpd sy sbgai s'org suami sprti mane yg awk jnji..
sbb sy dah ta nk kongkong hidup awk..
dan sy harap sy dpt jd isteri yg memahami awk...
tuh JANJI sy pada awk.. !
tp kalau bole cepat kan la tahun tuh. berjanggot laa awk 5vtahun tuh.!
haishhh.. :p hahahah
thx syg :')

deAr yOu.!

hmm..
sy tahu awk baca dan awak akan baca blog sy...
sy dah ta tahu lagy nk pk cm ne..
nk rasa mcm mane...
sy dah penat... dah penat nak tipu diri sendiri..
tipu org.. mgatakn sy oke.. im fine.
enough la.! stop it.
hmm. nape awk masih tak nampak.
atau saje wat ta nampak.
atau malaz nak nmpak.
nape awk suke nampak yang sy benci kat awk.
dlm byk byk post kat blog ni psl awk.
yang buruk psl awk je awk nampak.
awak pgang. awk simpan. siap awk nak hafal lagy.
tapi nape yg baik, yg sweet. yg sediyh....
awk tak penah pun cakap. ingat. simpan.
hmm.. sy ta paham ape yg awk nak..
tp sy rase awk tahu kn ape sy mahu dr awk.
sy cume ingat janji awk yg 1 tuh je. yg berkaitan dengan masa depan sy.
tp sy pon tak pasti samada awk akan tunaikan atau tak.
entah laaa awak... :(

Damn...!!!

i knoo u will read this mr.

n i was hoping that u will think about it.

no one can accept me like the way u are boy.

n u kno rite. u are so sempurna for me.

no one can replace u.

im hoping u will come back to me...

how many guys i try.

they couldn't accept me. myself. n i

only u is the best that i ever hav.

plz. dunt hurt me by hurting urself.

;'(

i was stupid ryte..

pg pg ta tdo... konon serabut..

dah ta tido.. alang alang kelas kul 8 kn.

so.. mmg ta tido laa kn..

hahhaa... dan.. mmg terserlah..

k'bgangan diri sendri..

konon niat d'haty saje nk usha usha.

tgk tgk laa... ternmpak laa. mcm si dia masih memakai cincin aku.

hati sedikit tersentuh. dan sebak.

bile tgk tgk lagy.

rasa bagai pinang d'belah dua,

bahagia terpancar di wajah dia.

:')

mnitis air mata yang aku tahan selama ini..

ego kah aku. atao bodoh kah aku.

aku masih mengharap kah.....?

ya allah... kuwatkn laa hati kuh ini,..

keraskn la haty kuh ini.

ya allah...

Perhaps........

im waiting.

waiting fer u...

i hope u kno babe.

i juz want u.

cuz wat i see now. i can be hepy wit u.

n only u.

but, seems like u was scared to tell me the real is.

plz dunt be afraid. cuz im here fer u.

u ar perfect enough fer me.

u layak untuk i.

sape kate u ta layak untuk i. :'(

plz u.. if u read this.

plz let me kno u love me too.

n if u asking me do i love u.?

n my answer.

I was in LOVE wit u since the day that u make me smile.!

:')

again.~ sweet boy.

hmm.. i found another sweet boy.!

yaww...

penat nye doe. asyik asyik jmpe slh org lagy.

mmg ta laa kn aku nk teruskn hubungan ngn kau.

hahaha....

bole jalan laa bro. hehehe..

kau bole gune ayat manis kau lagy.

enough laa kayh.

thnk god coz save me again.

:)

My yin deep inside.

im here alone.

wondering wut happen next.

thinking bout past.

cant exactly forget the past.

n scared to stat the new.

hm. im stuck here.

in this empty room.

square white pale room.

......

thinking. wut coming next to me.

do i deserve betta.

did i deserve to be happy :(

plz.. dunt hurt me anymore.

im... begging...

13th of June 2011

i dunt wanna be the girl who laughs the loudest.
or the girl who never wants to be alone.
................

my ringtone fer msg.
hmm. today was a really a gud FUCKING my mood.
stat wit MUET results.
followed by fast cancel.
plus my boy friend (boy bff) had fight wit her gurl.
then im the one who get blame.
spoil my mood to study.
fucking off.~
wut happening today.?
wut is really happen to me today.?
grrrr.... ! im fucking bad.!
fuck off..~ !

this song is juz fer u MUHAMMAD NUR FADHLI.!

I know I can't take one more step towards you
'Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore?
You lost the love I loved the most
And I learned to live, half-alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

And I learned to live, half-alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

Dear, it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises

HiM~

this is him... fb name,= ERY SARAH.

ic name = M. ZULKHAIRI. (if im wrong , plz forgive me)

my name = bby boy.!

hehehe... opss..! tht nick name, dulu bole laa gne..

Now..he is a big boy.

can take a good care of himself n plus others.

including me. but of coz his gurl.

im proud of him.

i kno him since i was 18 teen.

i was juz a clerk at tuition centre that he's entered in.

almost everyday he will walk in the tuition n say 'hye' to me.

n i will always smile n say 'hye' back to him.

hehe.. wit smile he walk behind.

he juz an ordinary boy. for others. maybe.

but not fer me. if u're asking y.?

i'll tell u now.!

he can share everythng wit me.

he will always hav a story to tell about.

he always tried so hard to make me smile when i was sad.

laugh? huh.! neva stop! if im wit him.

he said. i love to see when u're laughing.!

shame of me. my face will completely turn into red.

and, he will laughing at me. n double triple i will be ashamed.

hmm.. thats him.! i miss him.

n more important fer me to remember on.

he will always want to be more matured than me.!

hehehe.. how hard he try. i will always called him my babyboy.!

hahaha.. u are my big baby boy rite now.!

see.. u can talk maturely, think maturely. n feels maturely.

hmm.. somehow. i dunt know y.. i miss old of u.!

the childish boy. the selffish lil' boy. n the cute boy.

hehhee :') i miss u boy.!

but sumtimes, it's cross into my mind.

y shouldn't i giv u a chance to prove that u're big enough to have me.

hmm.. my ego :'(

im sorry. and im too late now! ryte. :')

its oke dear.. i was pray fer yr happiness wit her. :)

she deserve u betta. :)

dunt forget to invite me into yr wedding kayh.!

miss u :)

i told u so.!

is it still my fault.?

am i the one who blame u..?

i am the one who cheat on u?

come on boy..!

wake up n see the real world..

dunt juz b'coz of u think u r rich,

or the most sweet man in this world..

u can easily break a gurl heart..

a gurl that currently recovered from hurt..

then u wake in front of her then claim that

u will rescue her from all this lies....

after a few days.. there u ar..

sumthng that cant far apart from a man..

that is lies... lies.. being LIAR.. lie again..

ar u realy think u should do that..?

or am i too stupid to understand that.?

(yr lie means u dont even want me or love me)

who u think u ar...

as everyone knows n u kno...!

what goes around , comes around...

may god forgive u...

im crying~

dear god.....

im begging u...

plss dunt give me a lies...

plss...im hurt.....

pls gimme a true love...

gimme me a right man...

gimme me no hurt plsss.....

im begging you....

pls hear my voice....

plss my god....

i cant face it anymore......

Dear allah...

aku ingin mengucap kan syukur ke hadrat mu...

kerna telah memberi aku semangat baru...

jiwa baru....

dan ketenangan yang baru...

huhuee...

tapi apa yang aku harap kan pada kali ini..

adalah keputusan yang tepat ya allah...

jika mereka ini bukan di jodohkan untuk aku...

kau jauh kan mereka dari aku..

aku tidak mahu ada satu haty pon yg akan terluka...

amin~

dear man out there....

welll....

sy dah berfikir untuk cinta hati sy pd kali ini...

sy tak kesah laa awk hensem mcm mane pon...

sy ta kire laa duit awk byk mane pon..

sy ta kn pndg la kete awk yg berpuluh ribu pon..

sy ta kan terlena la ngn jnji dan ayat manis awk tuh...

tapi.....

ape yg sy kesah....

ape yg sy kira.....

ape yg sy pndg...

adlah titisan air mata sy....

jika awk smpai mbuat kn sy menangesh kerana awk...

maaf, kita tidak di takdirkan bersama...

harap awk dpt cari tulang rusuk awk...

sekian terima kasih ....

:')

DeAr mY bLoGgEr.....

im just an ordinary gurl...

a gurl yg terlalu dimanjakan...

terlalu di ikut kehendaknye..

terlalu jarang untuk di marah atas kesalahan nye..

terlalu sempurna untuk mengikut kemahuan nye...

tetapi...bila tiba 1 hari diri nye di lepaskan dari sangkar emas jagaan nye..

dia terbang bebas... tersangat bebas...

sampai terlupa akan kelainan dunia luar berbanding dengan dunia nya sendiri..

dia hanya pandai untuk menilai kesalahan orang lain..

menghukum keburukan org lain..

menolak segala kemahuan org lain...

sebab apa yang telah dia kecapi selama ini..

hanya laa kemahuan, keinginan, dan kehendak dia saja yang di turuti..

dia tidak mampu untuk berkongsi,

dia tidak mampu untuk memberi,

dia tidak mampu untuk menghargai,

dia tidak juga mampu untuk memahami...

sehingga laa....sesuatu yang paling berharga..

sesuatu yang telah lama tunduk dek kemahuan nye...

sesuatu yang telah lama mengikut kehendak nye...

sesuatu yang telah lama menjaga hati nye.....

hilang....hilang tanpa khabar berita...

hampir separuh gila dia di buat nye...

dan sekali lagi tanpa memikirkan apa kah masalah yang si dia hadapi,

dia terus menghantar kata putus..

tanpa berbincang,

tanpa berfikir,

tanpa menjaga hati si dia..

dan setelah betul betul kehilangan si dia...

dia akhirnya sedar...

dan telah di sedar kan...

tapi, bak kata perpatah,

telajak perahu boleh d'undur..

telajak kata, badan binasa...........

tiada apa yang dapat aku lakukan tika ini...

hanya menunggu jika benar si dia di takdirkan untuk aku..

aku hanya mampu berdoa...

mencuba untuk tidak menjadi seperti seorg yang terlalu pentingkan diri sendiri..

belajar untuk memahami lebih dari memahami diri sendiri...

bersikap lebiyh terbuka...

dan apa yang penting untuk mempercayai org lain...

kehilangan tok kedua kali nya membuat kan aku benar benar sedar,

dan tabah tok harungi masa akan datang...

yang aku sendiri pon tak tahu apa akan berlaku...

ya allah, kau maafkan laa hamba mu ini yang jahil, ya kufur, serta yang lemah....

aku terlalu mengikut hawa nafsu kuh ya allah...

moga pengajaran ini akan sentiasa menjadi kan aku lebiyh bagus setiap hari,

semoga aku tidak akan pernah untuk mengulangi nya ya allah...

amin ya rabbana alamin.....